GP Contract

An informative look at recent Holistic Fitness News

DR KAPLAN'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

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The medical news this week was truly astounding - at least for people in the UK. I simply could not believe the headlines in The Times on Tuesday. They were the first to push this piece of news. On Wednesday the rest of the press latched on. This was the main headline on the front page of The Times of 3/6/03.

Fat people will
have to diet if
they want to
see the doctor

So what does it mean? It means that the government is considering the idea of GP's getting their patients to sign contracts that they will lose weight, eat healthily, stop smoking and take exercise. If you won't sign the contract or keep up your promise, your GP could then have the right to refuse to treat you! Wow! Talk about a nanny state! This is an affront to the Hippocratic Oath. Want to hear my view on this little bit of proposed medical fascism. Okay, here we go..

If we are going to make fascists out of NHS GP's lets at least be professional about it and do it the way a true dictator would force us into good health. So here are my suggestions for achieving this:

1. Exercise: A contract is not enough. You must force people to do exercise. Exercise machines should be compulsory in all homes. Linked to a central computer (much as in Big Brother) people will have to clock in their 30 minutes a day; and it better be a good 30 minutes as the computer will also be clocking your heart rate! If you can't afford a machine you can queue for public one. No problem clocking in; the internet makes that simple. Tax relief for the winners, community service for the losers and jail for people who don't clock in.

2. Smokers: Let's use the American 'three strikes and you're out' approach'.
a. First offence, a warning
b. Second offence, one year in a mental institution (this is something we can learn from the old Soviet Union; people who don't agree with the wisdom of the government are by definition, insane.)
c. Third offence: compulsory euthanasia

3. Fat People:
No, I don't agree that the gravity-challenged should be refused medical care. I don't agree that anybody should be refused medical care. It is against the Hippocratic Oath to refuse medical care to people needing it. No, doctors should tell the government to dump this nonsense. The only punishment fat people should get is to pay more for airplane tickets. I've never understood why a seven stoner pays the same as a seventeen stoner. Yet heaven help the lighter man if his luggage is a few pounds overweight. It would be reasonable for everyone to pay a basic charge plus a charge per pound of luggage or flesh. "Please step on to the scales with your luggage, sir."

Homeopathic Tip of the Week

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Write to your MP and request that s/he respectfully ask the government to act responsibly. In other words, dump this ridiculous idea or do it professionally according to my guidelines above.

As far as eating and obesity are concerned, there is only one rule that works. 1. Eat only when you feel hungry.
2. Chew well and enjoy your food.
3. Do not go on crash diets of any kind. They don't work; that's why there are several new ones published every year.
4. Exercise regularly.
5. Do NOT forbid yourself any food in order to lose weight. You have to be allowed to enjoy anything on certain occasions.

Dr Kaplan's personal website is: www.drkaplan.co.uk and his practice website is www.140harleystreet.co.uk and he can be contacted on (020) 7487 3416